Deep Thoughts” (and its subsequent follow-up “Deeper Thoughts”) came from the mind of former Saturday Night Live writer Jack Handey. 

The amazing insights include such gems as the following:

“If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that’s what really throws you into a panic.”

“Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.”

“Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half? Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way.”

“For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here’s a tip: Why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness.”

And probably my favorite:

“If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let ’em go, because, man, they’re gone.”

Some truly “deep thoughts,” no? 

I don’t know how your brain works (and I assume it does), but I know my own sorts through its files randomly and with no advance warning, sometimes taking the liberty to arrange bits of imagery and words together that — prior to that moment — had no connection whatsoever other than the fact that they existed within the same head. 

Sometimes those thoughts are amusing; sometimes they are boring (most of the time); and sometimes they’re just downright scary. Take the following, for example:

• What if when ghosts say, ‘BOO!’, they’re not trying to scare you, but are just really disappointed in your efforts?”

• Why do the terms ‘racial reconciliation’ and ‘facial recognition’ look so similar on paper? Seems like we could be talking about recognizing ethnicities and reconciling our faces. Weird.

• What if we renamed everything based on what toddlers called them? In our family, every man would be “dada,” cats would be called “meow,” and worthless conversation would be “ya-ya-ya-ya.” I definitely vote for that last one.

• It’s a good thing we don’t have to brush any more of our skeletons than just our teeth. That would get complicated.

See what I mean? Slightly amusing (maybe), boring, and kinda disturbing. That’s random thoughts for you, courtesy of my noggin.

I can’t control my random thoughts. None of us can. But I can choose what thoughts I focus on. I am reminded of the solid advice I’ve heard from many a counselor, pastor, or friend over the years, all in similar wording — You can’t keep birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from making a nest in your hair. In other words, even if I can’t control what thoughts enter my head, I can control what I let settle there.

I’m reminded of what the Apostle Paul wrote to Christians in Philippi — “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable — if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy — dwell on these things” [Philippians 4:8].

If I’m going to allow things to dominate my thoughts, they should fall into one of these areas … things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, morally excellent, and praiseworthy. That’s good stuff. You could even call it deep.

Brett Campbell can be reached at brett.campbell@dailyleader.com.