Deer season is well underway, but I probably won’t even see a deer.

Those snooty bow hunters are already in the woods, killing all the good ones weeks in advance and writing the memories they’ll tell us all next year, about how it was so hot outside that early in the season, and they had to go so far into the woods and by golly that big buck shouldn’t have even been there, but he was and of course they dropped a bomb on him at 40 yards and it was so, so incredible.

The youth season starts Saturday, so whatever deer the bow hunters spared will be driven into months-long hiding by the sound of 10,000 teenage boys shooting at every leaf and stump in sight. Those boys also pee on everything in the woods. That’s not good, either.

What I’m trying to say is by the time rifle season gets here on Nov. 18 and hunters like me — a little fat, a little behind in preparation, not quite as good as Esau — have a chance to get into the woods, the only deer we’ll see are the pictures you send to the newspaper.

So help me out. When someone in your family bags a trophy this deer season, send the pictures to me at The Daily Leader and I’ll find a place for them in the sports section. If I could be there, I would, but it’s just not feasible for me to run out with a camera every time a deer is killed (the bow hunters would never let me rest).

So I need you. E-mail those deer pictures to me at: 

adam.northam@dailyleader.com. Just follow these rules:

No guts and brains. I know deer bleed, and that’s OK, but I can’t print a picture of a dead deer that looks like the Terminator killed it. Let’s keep it rated PG. In the same vein (see what I did there?), take those pictures before your hunter has blood up to the armpits.

Also, I know not everyone is a professional photographer (a bow hunter could probably manage it), but we need the pictures to be clear, and we want to see your hunter’s smiling face. Daytime photos with a good digital camera are best. If you have to take it at night, try to get some other light on the scene — headlights, maybe — and make sure you use your flash.

Finally, throw me some details. What was the date and time of the hunt? Where did the hunt take place? What kind of shot did you have to make? If there was anything particularly interesting about the hunt, include a little write-up.

I’m looking forward to seeing your deer this fall and winter. Like I said, they’ll probably be the only ones I see.