No matter how many skills you have or the amount of expertise you possess communication skills can enhance and even override these qualities. Good communication skills can outweigh the lack of experience and promote your career path. Without it a person will not progress in their careers. Nothing can replace the advantages and benefits and open the door for establishing better relationships in your personal life and work life than good communications.

If you desire to be an excellent communicator you need to be effective in all areas of the communication process, speaking, listening, writing and reading. There are many courses and seminars available on speaking and writing but little is offered on developing listening skills.

The various channels of communication are widespread, from face to face, in person, voice to voice by phone, Skype, face time, written letters, emails, text messaging, etc. In the current environment of text messaging many young people are losing the skills of proper written communications. It is easy to get in the habit of shortened spelling of words, no attention to grammar, punctuation, etc. Fewer and fewer people use “snail mail” to write thank you notes, letters and even send invitations. Often little consideration is given to how the email, text, picture will look when viewed by others. Otherwise intelligent people succumb to the temptation and get caught up in off-color and inappropriate jokes, comments, emails, expressing opinions that are not acceptable in the office. It is amazing how many people in high level positions can fall prey to not thinking through their communications. There is no privacy in the tech world we live in today. Always ask yourself how you would feel if your boss or others read your message intended only for the person to whom you send it. Think before pressing send or forward. A click of the mouse can bring disastrous results. Review your company’s policies on the proper use of email, texting, etc. Always err on the side of caution. Do not use your company’s pc’s for personal email or texting even if the company doesn’t have a policy against it.

Verbal Communications

Verbal communications is a two-way street.  It involves speaking and listening.  God gave humans two ears and one mouth for a reason. We should spend twice as much time listening as talking. Much can be learned by listening to others. Don’t discount what you can learn from those different from you. Younger, older, those less experienced all have ideas and often bring a different, fresh perspective.

Do you ever find yourself in conversations with others who are always waiting to talk and not listening to what you have to say? This is a telling trait about a person who does not consider the value in another person’s words.

In verbal communications two of the most commonly used words are “uh” and “um”. People have a tendency to fill a silent pause with a noise, uh’s and um’s, and it becomes very distracting. Silence or a pause in speaking can help the person delivering a message to focus and continue speaking on topic. Eloquent and experienced speakers have learned to use the “pregnant pause” to their advantage.

Written Communications

In your written communications, whether it is reports, memos, letters, or other writings , have someone in your office review it and make suggestions. Also having someone to proof read will improve your written communication. Using spell check is not always sufficient. You should re-read your email, text, letter before sending out. if you are making a presentation or speech practice in front of the mirror. Also utilize another person astute in speaking in front of groups to listen to your presentation. Recording your talk and listening to it will help you analyze your speech and make any needed changes. “Practice makes perfect” is an old axiom that is still very true today.

Talk is cheap. Many love to hear themselves talk. Talking too much will cause people to avoid you. If you have an office, a good technique is to stand when the “overtalker” enters and don’t sit down. If you don’t sit the person also normally won’t sit and it is easier to shorten their visit. Excessive talkers will “steal” your time if you let them. It can cause you to become less productive as they often are. It is not hard to identify the time stealers in your business who waste others’ time. Don’t fall into their trap.

Words once spoken cannot be taken back. Think before speaking.

Ask yourself the question, “Do I walk the walk or only talk the talk?” An old belief is “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This is simply not true.  Words do hurt. Your tongue is one of the smallest parts of the human body but also one of the most dangerous in doing harm to others. Turn this neutral part of your body into a blessing to others rather than doing harm.

Two verses of scripture come to mind. “Words fitly spoken are like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11. “The tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles.” James 3:5

 

Becky Vaughn-Furlow retired from Trustmark Bank as executive vice president and human resources director. She can be contacted by emailing bvaughnfurlow@gmail.com.