The stamp on the inside cover reads: “$500 fine: 6 months in jail for misuse or failure to return library materials.”

That’s a pretty harsh penalty for not returning a library book. I had always assumed you simply had to pay a small fine equal to the book’s value if you neglected to return it.

But my son found this stamp inside a book he recently checked out from the library. Needless to say, it made quite an impression on him. He has guarded this book with his life, knowing that a sibling could swipe it and do any number of horrible things to it — eat it, flush it, feed it to the dog.

The book brought to mind other state laws that probably seemed like a good idea at the time, but today are a bit unreasonable at best. Most of these are attempts to legislate morality, which typically doesn’t go over very well.

• “If any person shall obtain carnal knowledge of any woman, or female child, over the age of 18 years, of previous chaste character, by virtue of any feigned or pretended marriage or any false or feigned promise of marriage, he shall, upon conviction, be imprisoned in the penitentiary not more than five years.” In other words, a man can’t lure a woman to bed with a disingenuous promise of marriage.

• “If any person shall teach another the doctrines, principles, or tenets, or any of them, of polygamy; or shall endeavor so to do; or shall induce or persuade another by words or acts, or otherwise, to embrace or adopt polygamy, or to emigrate to any other state, territory, district, or country for the purpose of embracing, adopting, or practicing polygamy, or shall endeavor so to do, he shall, on conviction, be fined not less than $25 nor more than $500, or be imprisoned in the county jail not less than one month nor more than six months, or both.” I guess you’ll have to turn to Google if you want to learn more about polygamy.

• “If any person shall profanely swear or curse, or use vulgar and indecent language, or be drunk in any public place, in the presence of two  or more persons, he shall, on conviction thereof, be fined not more than $100  or be imprisoned in the county jail not more than 30 days or both.” This is just a blatant infringement on free speech. I hate profanity as much as anyone, but that doesn’t mean there should be a law against it.

• “If any person, who shall have previously become the natural parent of an illegitimate child within or without this state by coition within or without this state, shall again become the natural parent of an illegitimate child born within this state, he or she shall be guilty of a misdemeanor and, upon conviction thereof, shall be punished by imprisonment in the county jail for not less than 30 days nor more than 90 days or by a fine of not more than $250, or both.” Lock up the parent so they lose their job and fine them so they can’t buy groceries. That will teach them.

• “If any person shall willfully disturb any congregation of persons lawfully assembled for religious worship, he may be immediately arrested by any officer or private person, without warrant, and taken before any justice court judge of the county, present or convenient, and on conviction thereof by such justice, municipal, county or circuit court, shall be fined not more than $500 or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.” I’m for an orderly church service, but I don’t think anyone but law enforcement ought to have the power to arrest.

Just imagine if you happen to curse in a church service while destroying a library book titled “Polygamy for Dummies.” You could end up in jail for more than a year and face a fine of $1,100.

Luke Horton is the publisher of the Daily Leader.